When I was in high school I didn’t really date until I was a senior.  OK, I admit it, I was a bit scared.  In fact, terrified, lol.  Girls got me all nervous.  I said the wrong things, I did the wrong things, I always had my foot in my mouth.  So I just fantasized and got frustrated through most of school, but 3 weeks after I started 12^th grade, I met a girl, Dana, in the cafeteria and she was cute and just used to giggle at no matter what I would say, so I became more aggressive and the dating thing between us just sort of happened.

We hung out more and more and then went out.  I had a 6 year old Mustang, the car, not the horse, lol, and she liked it.  She made the first move one night after a movie and then we just went from there.  She was my first, I was not hers.  No biggie.  We started doing everything together.  My parents were pretty happy.  I think they were worried I was gay, lol.  Not that they are homophobic or anything.  They were just wondering from where they would eventually find me a partner, lol.  Dana and I spent so much time together we started becoming too used to each other.   We got bored.  Now don’t get me wrong.  We had lots of fun for a few months, but after that it just sort of fizzled.  We stayed friends as we both moved on.

Dating Dana was a good learning experience for sure and so I finally got more confident and lost most of the jitters that had haunted me through my junior year.  I was quite the heartbreaker by the way, when I was in kindergarten, I understand.  But after that, fugetaboutit.  In any event, after Dana I even became charming, lol.  My best friend used to tell me, Dude, you have quite a rap there.  I became a good talker.  Didn’t mean half the crap I said, but that was good learning as well.  I don’t think anyone means half of what they say.

After winter break, I met Allison.  She was pretty damn cute.  Redhead, petite, very athletic, and just plain nutty as well.  Very spontaneous.   Allie was loads of fun.  Sometimes she would piss me off and sometimes I would piss her off, but we made it work.  This was also the first time my dating made my friends nuts.  They felt I was whipped.  Allie was controlling but I kind of didn’t mind.  She was nutty as I said.  I can’t tell you the kinds if weird things she was into.  But I liked it and went along.  More learning about girls and dating, I figured, even if things wouldn’t work out.  I knew many people married their high school sweetheart, but I didn’t even think about that.  Whatever would be would be.  We dated through till the end of the year and then we both went off to college and that was that.  On to college!

So the holiday season got you down?  It gets to me too.  We can keep busy only so much before we have some free time and then we think, boy, wish I was with someone.  Because of that, I want to tell you a story about me wanting it so bad, I rushed into what turned out to be a bad situation.

Four years ago, just after Thanksgiving when I was feeling sorry for myself at being the “extra” at a Thanksgiving dinner, because I had no date, I met a girl at a library.  Right, a library of all places, lol.  She was a brunette, about 5’ 4”, pretty good body, had glasses, was cute, really.  About 26 years old.  She was there to meet her friend who was taking college courses and needed to get some information on psychology or something like that.  Anyway, she sat down at my table and she saw me.  I was waiting for someone too.  My nephew had some school project and I was helping him on it.  Why teachers send kids to the library today I don’t know, with the internet and all, but it had to be done.  So because I was just sitting there without a book or anything, she asked me what I was doing there, and laughed.  She said you won’t get anything out of this place if you don’t open a book or something.  So we chatted.  Turns out she was just over some relationship.

Both my nephew and her friend were late and so we had a nice talk for about 15 minutes before her friend showed up.  When she did, the girl I met gave me her number.  Call me tonight she said.  So later that night, I did.  She was funny on the phone, telling me about all her past flings, etc.  I should have known something was up because she had so many in such a short amount of time.  She insisted she wasn’t a slut just had bad luck with guys.  (And I like sluts anyway, lol.)  So we decided to meet up that weekend. She wasn’t far so I picked her up and we had dinner and then hit a movie.  After the movie, in the car in the parking lot she was all over me.  I mean she sucked my face like she needed oxygen and her hands went to my swollen, you know.  Wow, I thought.  Cool!  I figured this was so fast, it would be a one night thing.  Or a few more one nights, maybe a FWB thing.  We went back to my place and had some fun.

Next day, she calls me before I even had a chance to call her, and she is making plans for all sorts of stuff even before I knew what was up.  So I tried to back it off a bit saying, hey, let’s slow it down.  She wanted a trip to a museum and a weekend trip and even wanted me to meet her mom.  I was like, holy crap.  After one night in the sack, this is what’s happening?  Then I realized her problems.  She was way too controlling and she had these fantasies in her head about what happened and what was expected.  I had to break it off right then and there.  So when I told her slow down, she got mad.  But too bad.  I ended it.  She called me like 5 more times and I had to let the calls go to voicemail the last 3.  So there you go.  Sometimes, the fun just ain’t worth it, and it’s better not to rush even when you are feeling down.

Ah, the holidays.  This is the busiest time of year for most, people buying gifts, traveling, seeing grandma and all.  And it’s a busy time for me here, because this is the time when those who have been alone look for some comfort to fill the vacuum of yes, for many, loneliness.  And it’s also a time for those who are have ended a relationship and are starting over and who want to find someone to continue being with a partner.  It’s all normal.  What I tell people who write me at the company, and what I tell friends and others is, don’t despair.  With this internet thing, if you make a small amount of effort, you will find someone.  Either someone who will be your forever, or maybe who will be your today or tomorrow only.  And whether you just want a today or tomorrow only, or if you want a forever and it won’t be, it’s OK.

I find that the two biggest problems people have with this dating thing is first, they don’t even try to find someone, and of course, they will just bitch about that.  And second, if they do start looking, they don’t put in the effort.  They think someone will just fall in their laps.  It is so easy and fast now to find who and what you want and in whatever niche or fetish you may like, that it’s a crime to not take advantage of what you have right in front of your face.  Just spend all of a few minutes joining a site, making a profile and then searching for your mate.  And hey, it’s fun too.

Look, I know I’m in the business here and so, you would expect me to promote the sites I have reviewed, and fyi, not all get good scores.  But I truly, honestly want people to be happy, especially those who take the time to join the sites I recommend.  I have looked at all the sites, my reviews are not bogus and I know what works and what doesn’t.  It’s funny, my dad told me last week when I called to tell him what time I would arrive back home, and when he asked me how things were, that he remembers being alone earlier in his life on the holidays.  And he said this, “Hell, boy, had I had all this computer dating stuff when I was younger, I would never have left the house except to meet the ladies and you know.  But then again I would probably have never met your mother; I would have been too ******* busy!”  And then I heard my mom yell at him and she got on the phone and yelled at me.  As usual.

So anyway, happy holidays and take some action.  Join a site and have some fun!

That’s from the Harry Nilsson song, Without You, recorded in 1972.  Today is one of my former girlfriend’s birthday.  Why mention this?  Hey, I have had my share like all male homo sapiens I guess, and like some of you, with a breakup, at times I was bummed.  And after the breakup with Emma, I took it pretty hard.  I am not ashamed to say that.  I was depressed and felt like crap.  And like an idiot, I spent my time listening to all kinds of sad breakup songs on the internet, and obsessed with one, that song.  Here are a few lyrics – No, I can’t forget this evening, On your face as you were leaving, But I guess that’s just the way the story goes.  It was a tough deal.

But after acting like a moron for damn, maybe a whole month, I finally got over it, not completely after a month, but enough to know I was stupid for acting that way and that I was so much better off.  I mean, hey, the girl was a bitch.  Now I am not saying that because of what happened, but because she was, really.  She was controlling, wouldn’t shut the hell up, had this terrible habit of picking her teeth a lot, and my family and friends hated her.  I don’t necessarily think anyone, even my family and friends should have veto power on who I choose to date, but I don’t think anyone I knew who knew her, liked her, and that should have been a signal to me.

So after that month and when I finally came out of the fog, I started looking around and dating again.  And it wasn’t long at all before I found someone.  Or should I say ‘someones,’ plural, lol.  I had been in this stagnant relationship for nearly 2 years and after the first few months it wasn’t so much fun anymore, just you know, a relationship.  Well, I joined some sites and met some ladies, and then I got the best kind of job I could get – working for a company that looks at and reviews sites.  I became an expert in this dating thing, if I may say so myself, and at the same time, I started really enjoying myself.  And damn, life is too short, so why be miserable.  Be happy, right?

So my advice to anyone reading this is, if you get screwed by your girlfriend or boyfriend or whoever, get over it.  You are probably better off.  Move on, join some personals sites like you see here on this review site, and start enjoying yourself.  Move on, there really is a happier life out there for you.  All you have to do is go get it.  And today, with the internet, it’s easy.

Because of what I do and where I work, I have often been asked how to get dates or how to get hot girls, or wild girls, etc.  People think that my work makes me the genius when it comes to the dating world and getting what I want when doing so.  Look, I won’t lie.  I probably get more than my fair share.  Kind of like anyone in any line of work gets stuff at that place or gets discounts or knows more about how to do things.  For example, I have a good friend who is a real estate broker.  And so he knows what is going on with houses, and when he knows of a good one, well below market value, he buys it himself and flips it.  Just the nature of things.  And it’s kind of funny because one of my friends who struggles with finding good dates says he can’t get any because me and all my co-workers are taking them and for the world to be in balance, someone has to get screwed, so it’s him, lol.

Well, and I know you have heard this before, and it applies to a lot of things, it’s a numbers game.  You have to work it to get it to work.  Don’t think if you limit yourself in your search that you will get tons of wild women knocking on your door.  You want to have great dates?  Want to have wild dates?  There are ways you can do it, but you need to be active.  Numbers, numbers, numbers.

You can be active with bars and clubs and even chatting it up at the supermarket, that does work by the way, assuming you don’t come across like an idiot.  And/or, and this really is the easiest way to get the ladies, join a site for singles or the type of niche dating in which you have an interest and look there.  You can find enough sites here on this website.  That is so much quicker and so much easier than the bar scene.  And cheaper!  No need to buy drinks for girls who just want the drinks and nothing more.  And don’t forget, success is in the numbers.  There are plenty of people out there looking and if you keep trying you will find what you want.  You will.

It’s a numbers game, so play the numbers.

One guy at work, a big talker, told a few of us a story that we all found hard to believe, but if it happened to anyone, it happened to him.  He had been at a bar and they were talking about some story on TV about girls who date for money.  No, I am not talking about hookers or even escorts.  There are sites out there that cater to women, many younger who need help with college or who just want money, who hook up and go out.  Sometimes it leads to sex, sometimes not.

So there was this one girl who had 3 dates in one day, and made a chunk of cash.  No sex, just dates, looked good on the guys’ arms and was good company and that’s it.  Some guys, many guys I guess, don’t mind blowing cash to look good, spend time with girls, and get nothing in return.  I’m not like that for sure.  But hey, it’s a free country, so whatever floats your boat, right?

Well, Mr. big talker, let’s call him, Rico, because that’s his name lol, says he can do the same with 3 girls from  3 different sites here and have sex with all 3 in one day.  Right.  OK, how can we prove that?  He said he would let a person stay in his closet when he brought each girl home.  So we all say OK.  The next weekend (he needed to get a feel for the girls with writing and such so we gave him 10 days to get it together), he is ready.  It will be Saturday.  Rico says he has the girls ready.  One for a breakfast date, one for a late lunch and one for dinner.  I would be outside his building when he went in with the date.  And one of the guys would be in the closet.  I didn’t want that option, lol.

OK, so I have to admit it, the man came through.  A gal named Shana in the AM, another, Leah at about 3 PM, and the last, a Sonyita, at about 10 PM.  And she stayed over, so our other work friend was stuck there the whole night!  Rico is smooth, that’s for sure.  Wish I had his guts.  And his stamina.  Apparently he was at it all night, lol.  Go figure.

OK, so now it’s my turn to bitch. I am in the dating pool just like you and the rest of the restless world.  “Looking for love in all the wrong places,” as the song goes.  But truly, I have also looked in the right places.  Sure I have sought my female partner in bars and the like, but I have done the same at churches, and why not.  You know what?  I think they ought to combine the two.  Maybe like a church bar, or a bar church or something.  Wouldn’t that be great?  Doesn’t it always help when you can down a couple wherever you may be?  I wonder if I could patent this idea.  But I digress.

Last week, I was set up by my buddy Dave.  No searching in a bar or club, just a sure bet from my friend.  And hey, that doesn’t necessarily mean sex, but who knows, right?  I don’t force myself on anyone, but damn, I can be so charming and lovable, the ladies just want to want me so bad, lol.  Dave told me the girl was a friend of a friend and he was told she was more cute that hot.  Fine by me, I am no Brad Pitt.  (Hey. I am no arm pit, either.)  But he said she was really nice and a lot of fun bordering on the wild.  Maybe even kinky.  Strawberry blonde, blue eyes, built.  Sounded good enough for this weary man.

So how did it go, you ask?  OK, OK, I will tell you.  It started out pretty good.  I didn’t pick her up; we met at a bar located between the two of us.  It was like you always see in the movies or on TV.  Hi, are you so and so?  Awkward at first, but with the drinks, we both loosened up, and I think we both looked better to each other.  (Oh, so that’s what the alcohol is for.)  And she was very cute, a medium framed gal, but pretty.  We had a great chat, I mean really good.  The conversation flowed like the fluids going down our throats.  And get this.  We played darts.  I mean friggin darts.  I couldn’t remember the last time I had done that.  Things went so well, and for like 2 hours, I was thinking to myself, wow, this will only get better.

But then, a weird thing happened.  She suddenly said she had to go.  And it wasn’t one of those, excuse me while I take this call kind of thing with a friend calling to give a her way out.  There was no call.  She just all of a sudden had to go. Just like that!  And she did. It was bizzare.  I wasn’t imagining we were having a great time, because we were, really, believe me.  She just about ran out and we didn’t even exchange numbers.  I asked my friend the next day if he could find out what happened, and when he got back to me, he just said the girl said the date was nice, and that was that.  Sheesh.  Next!!