CBS will be using the Orange is the New Black actress, Laverne Cox, in its new legal drama, Doubt, starting out as a TV movie this year.  It is still in filming production.  Cox plays a transgender Ivy League-educated attorney.  Her role was made for a transgender actress from the start.  CBS didn’t just decide to throw her in after some thought as to who would play the part.  That in and of itself is a great thing – a major network deciding from the start to cast a TG person who is one who plays a TG role.  Typically, while there have been TG characters in past TV shows, they have either been short-term or comedic in nature.  And may have just been someone who was not in reality transgender playing the role.  In this case, not only will a successful debut create a recurring role, but the lead actor will be an actual transgender person, Cox.  The success of diverse TV shows such as Orange and others drove CBS to make its decision and if things work out, and there should be no reason they don’t as long as the show is tight with its writing and production, Cox won’t be the last TG person to be on the small screen.  It may even advance roles on other Hollywood venues.  Broadway has been there for a while already to a certain degree.

So what does that mean to you, my readers who are transgender or transsexual or anyone with a gender identity that may be related to this topic?  Anything at all that shows that people who are TG acting as normal people in a work or social environment is helpful.  Things are hard enough with transgender or transsexual people trying to live and thrive in society.  But seeing their roles as regular members of society not only pushes their gender identities and decisions to the public forefront, it makes, ever so slowly unfortunately, acceptance come about.  Hopefully to the point that gender identity won’t cause anyone to flinch or look the other way.  You can look at almost any article on this topic, and if comments are allowed, the vast majority of them are so hateful as to remind many of how blacks were seen a generation ago.  (And still by some today, sadly.)

Perhaps one day, as Facebook has done, by adding gender identification profile options, the mainstream dating sites will do the same.  There are a number of major personals sites out there, but you know they don’t contain any semblance of ways for TG people to find those who seek them or those who seek TG-identified people.  So what do you do?  You know the answer.  You use online dating websites that cater to transgendered people, transsexuals, crossdressers, and those who are looking for ladyboys or shemales.  (And yes, some may get offended by these terms, but others not.)

Please go to DateSitesReview.com – TS Dating to connect with TS or TG like-minded people, those who are, and those who seek those who are.  TSdating.com is one of the great sites we recommend.  There is no shame anymore; there never should have been.  Find your short or long-term partner, and be happy.

I have been asked many times to explain certain definitions and differences regarding genders other than straight and gay, so I will take the opportunity here to make some things as clear as I can.  And by the way, there is not full agreement on some of the differences, subtle as some may be, between some of the different gender, different people that are out there.

First, cross-dressers and transvestites are pretty much the same thing.  Generally, a cross-dresser is a man who carries out his strong desire to dress like a woman.  There are women who cross-dress like men, but typically, men are those who live this lifestyle.  By the way, just to get it out of the way, drag queens are not cross-dressers in the sense of some internal desire to dress opposite of what is accepted for their gender, they are simply men who dress like women for entertainment purposes.  So in theory, yes, but technically, in the actual gender identity sense, no.  I must add there are those who feel that cross-dressing is more a fetish that anything to do with gender identity.  Some consider cross-dressers to be transsexuals as well.  I am thinking those who have the tremendous urge to cross-dress are best to define this definition.

A transgendered person is one who has a gender identity that is opposite his or her physical being.  Basically, I mean people with the physical components of a man who feel inside that they are women, or people with the physical components of a woman who feel inside that they are men.

A transsexual is someone with a gender identity opposite his or her physical being, but who desires to (pre-op), is in the middle of, or has already changed their physical being with hormones and/or surgery (post-op).  There are transsexual men and there are transsexual woman.  A transsexual man or a trans-man is a female-to-male (F2M) transgendered person who was born with female physical components but who identifies as a male, and who may make physical changes to match that identity.  A transsexual woman or a trans-woman is a male-to-female (M2F) transgendered person who was born with male physical components but who identifies as a female, and who may make physical changes to match that identity.  Some people use the term tranny to identify transsexual.  I have heard that it is an offensive term and I have heard it is not.  Again, as with cross-dressers, it is best to yield to those who have this gender identity.

Shemales are pre-op M2F trans-women.  Typically, they change part of their physical being with hormones and surgery.  For example, they will take hormones and/or get implants for breasts but keep their penis.  Many find the slang term shemale offensive, but then again others don’t.  A ladyboy could be a transvestite or a trans-woman, and is associated with Thailand or other Asian countries where the term was popularized.  Again, some but not all people might find this term offensive.

There are differences and subsets within subsets and I hope I have not offended anyone in any way.  People should be respected for who they feel they are inside.  Period.  And everyone deserves to love and be loved.  Period.  FYI, a year ago Facebook added 51 gender ID options when making a profile page, to be sure they covered as many bases as possible.  The definitions may continue to change or evolve.  In any event, this is a great TS dating site: SingleTransexuals.com.  Or please go here to find the TS dating site of your desires: DateSitesReview.com – TS Dating.  Good luck!

(Today’s column was contributed by someone who is a member of FindaShemaleLover.com who wanted to tell his story.)

I had been curious about trannies or shemales from a younger age and I knew that when I was finally older and on my own I would try to be with one.  I am so fascinated by them and to me, it is only another way to get kinky, and people like to get kinky right?  And FYI, I am not gay, some may think I am, but I’m not.  I am a straight guy, 29 years old and have never been into men.

So I joined FindaShemaleLover.com and took some time to make my profile.  It was not because I couldn’t write or was confused or anything, it was because I wanted to be as honest as I could without offending anyone.  In case anyone doesn’t know, a shemale is a male to female transgendered person who looks and acts like a female and who may have taken hormones or gotten some surgery to assist, but who still has male genitals.  So I changed my profile several times as I tried to finesse why I was the way I was and what I wanted.  To be honest, I am not 100% sure why I am attracted to shemales, but I take comfort in the fact that I am not the only straight guy out there who is.  Maybe part of it is that the shemale feels she is a girl; that certainly helps.  And the fact that aside from what is between her legs, she is very much a woman.  Who knows?

With my profile, I wanted to tell about my desires without being insulting or patronizing.  I fully accept anyone’s sexual desires and would never judge.  Hell, I could be judged so easily.  So I said that I had never been with a transgendered MtF and wanted to experience it.  I added that I don’t know where it would go and that I would never want to take advantage of anyone or simply want to use someone who expected more.  So after telling a bit about myself, I basically asked if there was anyone who would want to have an experience with me, no strings attached.  And to be understanding.  Then I left it for a day and a half because I was slammed with some things

When I logged back in to start my search, I was surprised to see there were 6 people writing me.  I didn’t expect that.  Three were not that far from where I lived, and so, although I did thank the others for their interest, I decided to pursue the other three as I also searched.  Well, one of the three sounded so great, I will call her Chloe, that I made a date with her, to meet her first because of my newness to all of this and yes, a bit of fear, before I would want to explore sexually.

We met in a mall food court.  She was hot!  I immediately felt excitement even before she opened her mouth.  And a lovely mouth it was too.  🙂  So we talked for almost an hour as we ate, me buying, and she was just like any other girl, but gorgeous.  I wanted her then and there.  When we talked on the phone because I was a coward, it was decided to have the one ‘meet’ first and then see where it went for the second get together, probably sexual.  But I was like, I am so turned on, let’s just go back to my place to have some fun.  And I said that.  She laughed and said, of course, let’s.  So we did.  That was 5 weeks ago.  I have been with her two more times, one time was a full fledged date before the bedroom, but we both enjoyed each other’s bodies so much, most of our encounter time has been for sex, some of it kinky.  Thank you so much DateSitesReview.com – TS Dating.  And thank you FindaShemaleLover.com.

(OK, there you have it.  Life is too short to be worried about what other people think of your choices to be happy.  Choose joy with whoever it might be with.)

The first time I was introduced to a transsexual was just after I moved to Los Angeles, when I saw one in Hollywood.  I didn’t know what to make of it.  And I must admit I was thinking, boy, this is weird.  I never had the hate some had, and the hate some still do, but I was just not sure what was going on and if it was OK.  See, I come from a very religious background, but I basically rebelled when I went off to college, not liking the stringency and the judgments.  I do want to say that my parents were not terribly judgmental, but those who ran the parochial school where I went, and several who taught there, were very judgmental.  And I didn’t like it.  I didn’t appreciate the holier-than-thou atmosphere and hypocrisy, and when I was on my own, it was over for me.

One thing that is so important to me, and you know this if you have been reading my blog articles, is that people should be happy.  I don’t care who you are or who you love, you deserve happiness.  Maybe the reason why, or part of the reason why, is because for much of my life I have not been happy myself.  I grew up in such a difficult environment and didn’t have the pleasure others had.  And it bothered me.  And I also saw the injustices against people simply because of what they were or chose to be.  If we do not accept discrimination against minorities or others, how can we not accept it for anyone?

I am happy to say that almost in the same breath as when society speaks of gays and lesbians and their rights, bisexuals and transexuals are also mentioned, the LGBT mantra.  And that is a good thing.  Gays and lesbians whether they mean to or not, are leading the way for others, transsexuals, transgender, she males and crossdressers.  What was once a fetish only is now seen as a lifestyle, and although transsexuals, transgender, shemales and crossdressers are still only seen as a fetish or not normal by some, slowly but surely, acknowledgment and recognition is not far off.  And this is true for transgender women and men.

When deciding to make this website, a number of us were discussing the sites we would analyze.  It was easily decided that we would review different ethnic and niche sites aside from the normal, “vanilla” sites.  I am happy to say that when transexuals and those related to that niche was proposed, there was not even a moment hesitation about TS dating sites.  So we searched and found and reviewed TS personals sites that we thought would be representative of the niche.  There are many out there but we limited ourselves to the ones we felt would be helpful and yes, fun.  If you are within the niche or you wish to find someone within it, never feel any different than anyone else who seeks love or pleasure.

The TS related dating sites we reviewed and listed, not just for transsexual dating within the niche, but for all free adult dating, are TSdating.com , FindaShemaleLover.com, SingleTransexuals.com and CrossDressing.com.  A couple may not be perfect, but inside these four sites there is something for anyone looking for anything related. Good luck to trans men and trans women and those who seek them.