When I was in high school I didn’t really date until I was a senior.  OK, I admit it, I was a bit scared.  In fact, terrified, lol.  Girls got me all nervous.  I said the wrong things, I did the wrong things, I always had my foot in my mouth.  So I just fantasized and got frustrated through most of school, but 3 weeks after I started 12^th grade, I met a girl, Dana, in the cafeteria and she was cute and just used to giggle at no matter what I would say, so I became more aggressive and the dating thing between us just sort of happened.

We hung out more and more and then went out.  I had a 6 year old Mustang, the car, not the horse, lol, and she liked it.  She made the first move one night after a movie and then we just went from there.  She was my first, I was not hers.  No biggie.  We started doing everything together.  My parents were pretty happy.  I think they were worried I was gay, lol.  Not that they are homophobic or anything.  They were just wondering from where they would eventually find me a partner, lol.  Dana and I spent so much time together we started becoming too used to each other.   We got bored.  Now don’t get me wrong.  We had lots of fun for a few months, but after that it just sort of fizzled.  We stayed friends as we both moved on.

Dating Dana was a good learning experience for sure and so I finally got more confident and lost most of the jitters that had haunted me through my junior year.  I was quite the heartbreaker by the way, when I was in kindergarten, I understand.  But after that, fugetaboutit.  In any event, after Dana I even became charming, lol.  My best friend used to tell me, Dude, you have quite a rap there.  I became a good talker.  Didn’t mean half the crap I said, but that was good learning as well.  I don’t think anyone means half of what they say.

After winter break, I met Allison.  She was pretty damn cute.  Redhead, petite, very athletic, and just plain nutty as well.  Very spontaneous.   Allie was loads of fun.  Sometimes she would piss me off and sometimes I would piss her off, but we made it work.  This was also the first time my dating made my friends nuts.  They felt I was whipped.  Allie was controlling but I kind of didn’t mind.  She was nutty as I said.  I can’t tell you the kinds if weird things she was into.  But I liked it and went along.  More learning about girls and dating, I figured, even if things wouldn’t work out.  I knew many people married their high school sweetheart, but I didn’t even think about that.  Whatever would be would be.  We dated through till the end of the year and then we both went off to college and that was that.  On to college!

So the holiday season got you down?  It gets to me too.  We can keep busy only so much before we have some free time and then we think, boy, wish I was with someone.  Because of that, I want to tell you a story about me wanting it so bad, I rushed into what turned out to be a bad situation.

Four years ago, just after Thanksgiving when I was feeling sorry for myself at being the “extra” at a Thanksgiving dinner, because I had no date, I met a girl at a library.  Right, a library of all places, lol.  She was a brunette, about 5’ 4”, pretty good body, had glasses, was cute, really.  About 26 years old.  She was there to meet her friend who was taking college courses and needed to get some information on psychology or something like that.  Anyway, she sat down at my table and she saw me.  I was waiting for someone too.  My nephew had some school project and I was helping him on it.  Why teachers send kids to the library today I don’t know, with the internet and all, but it had to be done.  So because I was just sitting there without a book or anything, she asked me what I was doing there, and laughed.  She said you won’t get anything out of this place if you don’t open a book or something.  So we chatted.  Turns out she was just over some relationship.

Both my nephew and her friend were late and so we had a nice talk for about 15 minutes before her friend showed up.  When she did, the girl I met gave me her number.  Call me tonight she said.  So later that night, I did.  She was funny on the phone, telling me about all her past flings, etc.  I should have known something was up because she had so many in such a short amount of time.  She insisted she wasn’t a slut just had bad luck with guys.  (And I like sluts anyway, lol.)  So we decided to meet up that weekend. She wasn’t far so I picked her up and we had dinner and then hit a movie.  After the movie, in the car in the parking lot she was all over me.  I mean she sucked my face like she needed oxygen and her hands went to my swollen, you know.  Wow, I thought.  Cool!  I figured this was so fast, it would be a one night thing.  Or a few more one nights, maybe a FWB thing.  We went back to my place and had some fun.

Next day, she calls me before I even had a chance to call her, and she is making plans for all sorts of stuff even before I knew what was up.  So I tried to back it off a bit saying, hey, let’s slow it down.  She wanted a trip to a museum and a weekend trip and even wanted me to meet her mom.  I was like, holy crap.  After one night in the sack, this is what’s happening?  Then I realized her problems.  She was way too controlling and she had these fantasies in her head about what happened and what was expected.  I had to break it off right then and there.  So when I told her slow down, she got mad.  But too bad.  I ended it.  She called me like 5 more times and I had to let the calls go to voicemail the last 3.  So there you go.  Sometimes, the fun just ain’t worth it, and it’s better not to rush even when you are feeling down.

Ah, the holidays.  This is the busiest time of year for most, people buying gifts, traveling, seeing grandma and all.  And it’s a busy time for me here, because this is the time when those who have been alone look for some comfort to fill the vacuum of yes, for many, loneliness.  And it’s also a time for those who are have ended a relationship and are starting over and who want to find someone to continue being with a partner.  It’s all normal.  What I tell people who write me at the company, and what I tell friends and others is, don’t despair.  With this internet thing, if you make a small amount of effort, you will find someone.  Either someone who will be your forever, or maybe who will be your today or tomorrow only.  And whether you just want a today or tomorrow only, or if you want a forever and it won’t be, it’s OK.

I find that the two biggest problems people have with this dating thing is first, they don’t even try to find someone, and of course, they will just bitch about that.  And second, if they do start looking, they don’t put in the effort.  They think someone will just fall in their laps.  It is so easy and fast now to find who and what you want and in whatever niche or fetish you may like, that it’s a crime to not take advantage of what you have right in front of your face.  Just spend all of a few minutes joining a site, making a profile and then searching for your mate.  And hey, it’s fun too.

Look, I know I’m in the business here and so, you would expect me to promote the sites I have reviewed, and fyi, not all get good scores.  But I truly, honestly want people to be happy, especially those who take the time to join the sites I recommend.  I have looked at all the sites, my reviews are not bogus and I know what works and what doesn’t.  It’s funny, my dad told me last week when I called to tell him what time I would arrive back home, and when he asked me how things were, that he remembers being alone earlier in his life on the holidays.  And he said this, “Hell, boy, had I had all this computer dating stuff when I was younger, I would never have left the house except to meet the ladies and you know.  But then again I would probably have never met your mother; I would have been too ******* busy!”  And then I heard my mom yell at him and she got on the phone and yelled at me.  As usual.

So anyway, happy holidays and take some action.  Join a site and have some fun!

That’s from the Harry Nilsson song, Without You, recorded in 1972.  Today is one of my former girlfriend’s birthday.  Why mention this?  Hey, I have had my share like all male homo sapiens I guess, and like some of you, with a breakup, at times I was bummed.  And after the breakup with Emma, I took it pretty hard.  I am not ashamed to say that.  I was depressed and felt like crap.  And like an idiot, I spent my time listening to all kinds of sad breakup songs on the internet, and obsessed with one, that song.  Here are a few lyrics – No, I can’t forget this evening, On your face as you were leaving, But I guess that’s just the way the story goes.  It was a tough deal.

But after acting like a moron for damn, maybe a whole month, I finally got over it, not completely after a month, but enough to know I was stupid for acting that way and that I was so much better off.  I mean, hey, the girl was a bitch.  Now I am not saying that because of what happened, but because she was, really.  She was controlling, wouldn’t shut the hell up, had this terrible habit of picking her teeth a lot, and my family and friends hated her.  I don’t necessarily think anyone, even my family and friends should have veto power on who I choose to date, but I don’t think anyone I knew who knew her, liked her, and that should have been a signal to me.

So after that month and when I finally came out of the fog, I started looking around and dating again.  And it wasn’t long at all before I found someone.  Or should I say ‘someones,’ plural, lol.  I had been in this stagnant relationship for nearly 2 years and after the first few months it wasn’t so much fun anymore, just you know, a relationship.  Well, I joined some sites and met some ladies, and then I got the best kind of job I could get – working for a company that looks at and reviews sites.  I became an expert in this dating thing, if I may say so myself, and at the same time, I started really enjoying myself.  And damn, life is too short, so why be miserable.  Be happy, right?

So my advice to anyone reading this is, if you get screwed by your girlfriend or boyfriend or whoever, get over it.  You are probably better off.  Move on, join some personals sites like you see here on this review site, and start enjoying yourself.  Move on, there really is a happier life out there for you.  All you have to do is go get it.  And today, with the internet, it’s easy.